Parents' care

At age seventeen, Sarah was sure parents were over protective. They always wanted to know exactly where she was, whom she was with, and what time she would be home. If she was going to be even ten minutes late, she had to phone her parents so they wouldn't worry that she had been in a car accident. Her parents, on the other hand, loved Sarah and wanted to make sure she was safe. They were concerned that she may not yet be able to assess and handle potentially difficult situations. Sarah and her parents fought regularly over this, making all their lives unpleasant. The more Sarah tried to assert that she was capable of making decisions, the more her parents seemed to try to restrict her movements, and the more her parents did that, the more she asserted herself. They were caught in a vicious circle.

Several years later Sarah encountered the Dharma and began to meditate. When the situation with her parents kept distracting her during her meditation, she knew she had to look at it more closely. In doing so, Sarah saw that she and her parents were talking past each other and quarreling over two different issues. For her, the conflict was about autonomy and independence. She felt like she was an adult and knew how to make wise decisions. She resented what she perceived to be her parents' lack of trust, their interference in her life, and their trying to control her. She then realized that for her parents, the conflict was about safety. Looking at the situation from their view point, she began to see that her parents were not trying to control her life. Rather, because they loved her, they wanted her to be safe. Once she saw this, Sarah was able to let go of her resentment and stop quarreling with her parents. Once one partner in an argument has resigned, the argument can no longer occur, so her parents also relaxed.

In this instance, it was Sarah who realized that the needs and concerns of the conflicting parties were different. It could equally have been her parents. Had they realized that their daughter had tools to make decisions and was not simply being brash and rebellious, they would have spoken to their teenager with more respect, which would have elicited a different response from her.

Although Sarah's parents, from time to time, still seemed overly concerned about her, Sarah stopped being annoyed. An incident between her grandmother and her father confirmed her understanding of her parents' concerns and the foolishness of becoming angry at them. One day, when her father was sixty five, his mother reminded him to put on a sweater before he went out so he didn't catch cold. Sarah chuckled at this and realized that her parents would probably check on her in a similar way her whole life, no matter how old she was.

Years later, when Sarah was in her thirties, her mother asked her to wear a certain dress to the family Christmas party that evening. Sarah happily complied. Her cousin, who had overheard the conversation, later said to her, "I was aghast that your mother told you what to wear when you're thirty five, and I'm even more surprised that you didn't explode at her for doing so." Sarah explained to her cousin,"Unlike when I was a teenager, I'm now confident of myself as an independent adult. My mother's saying that doesn't threaten my confidence of my autonomy. In fact, now I'm happy to do something small to please her, for she and my dad cared for me with so much love when I was young."

(From Internet)

Why sickness in Buddhist view? Ven. Thich Chan Quang

Farm to Fridge The Truth Behind Meat Production 720p

Related Reading: For those who love eating meat.

The Buddha is not a God. He is a Great Human Being

Those who do not know the Buddha properly, consider Him a God. The Buddha never esteemed such unnecessary glory, praise or honour. Nor did He expect such things.

“ O Bhikkhus, gains, offerings, glory, praise are all harsh and fierce. They are a danger preventing the achievement of the highest bliss of liberation. ”

The Buddha appeared among men solely to make people see their ignorance, lack of awareness, wrong views, fallacies, and wrong actions. Such a great man will never expect limitless deference, praise or honour from the people.

One day, the Buddha walked along the road from the city of Ukkattha to the city of Setavya. A Brahmin named Drona, travelling along the same road after the Buddha, saw His footprints. He looked at them and thought, “ These can never be the footprints of a human being. ” The Buddha stepped aside from the road and sat under a tree. Brahmin Drona walked up to the Buddha, whose demeanour was exceedingly calm and serene, and questioned Him thus:

Brahmin : ” Are you a God? ”

The Buddha : ” Brahmin, I am not a God. ”

Brahmin : ” Are you a Gandhabba ( divine musician )? ”

The Buddha : ” Brahmin, I am not a Gandhabba. ”

Brahmin : ” Are you a Yakkha? ”

The Buddha : ” Brahmin, I am not a Yakkha. ”

Brahmin : ” Are you a human being? ”

The Buddha : ” Brahmin, I am not a human being, either. ”

Brahmin : ” When I ask you whether you are a God, you say “ No, I am not a God. ” When I ask you whether you are a Gandhabba, a Yakkha or a human being, you say “ No. ” If that were so, who are you? ”

The Buddha : ” O Brahmin, if I am a god, I must have those sense-desires. But, I have eradicated sense-desires fully. Therefore, I am not a God. If I am a Gandhabba, I must have sense-desires. But I have eradicated those fully. Therefore, I am not a Gandhabba.

O Brahmin, if I am a Yakkha, I must have the sense-desires that a Yakkha should have. But, I eradicated all that fully. Therefore, I am not a Yakkha, either. O Brahmin, if I am an ordinary human being, I must have the sense-desires of ordinary men. But, I have totally eradicated those. Therefore, I am not a human being like other human beings.

based on

“The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived – The Supreme Buddha”

by Ven. Weragoda Sarada Maha Thero  [source]

Avoid speaking harshly to others

Avoid speaking harshly to others,

Harsh speech prompt retaliation.

Those hurt by your words

May hurt you back

Dhammapada

Once there was a king who ruled a great kingdom in India. He enjoyed a happy life, except that his young son would often quarrel with the ministers, servants and other family members. Everyone found the son's behavior unbearable, yet no one dared to complain to the king. After some time the king himself saw what was happening and sought help. He employed the best therapists, but they could not subdue the boy's behavior, nor could the local sports heroes, miracle workers, and entertainers. In fact, the child's behavior became more obnoxious.

One day a monk came to the town to collect alms. The king's messenger observed him walking gently and mindfully and asked him to come to see the king. The monk, who had high spiritual realizations, declined this opportunity for riches and glory, saying "I am no more bound to the worldly life and therefore have nothing much to discuss with a king in the world."

Hearing of the purity of the monk's mind, the king went to pay homage to him and asked if he needed anything. The monk said that he simply wished to stay in the nearby forest, to which the king responded, "That is my forest, so please live there without worry. We will bring you food daily and will not disturb your meditation. I ask only that you allow me to bring my son to visit you. He is a big trouble- maker and I'm at a loss as to what to do with him." The monk nodded in consent.

The next day the king and his son arrived at the royal forest in a chariot. The king returned to the palace, while the monk and the the boy walked in the forest. Suddenly they came across a small neem tree, and the monk asked the prince to pluck leaf and taste it. The boy did so and spit out the bitter leaf in disgust. He bent over bent over and forcefully grabbing the young tree by its trunk, uprooted it.

The monk said to him "my child, you knew that if this sapling were to continue, it would become a huge tree, which would even more bitter in the future. For that reason, you plucked it out. In the same way, the ministers, royal officers, and palace residents now think 'this young prince is so bitter and angry. When he grows up, he will become even more vicious and cruel to us.' If you are not careful, they will pluck you from kingship as soon as they can." Understanding the disturbance he was inflicting on others and its ramifications for himself, the prince decided that he must change his attitude and behavior. Although it required effort, he knew it was for the happiness of all, and as he changed, others ceased their negative reactions to him and came to love and respect him.

(collected)

Eight possible grounds for laziness and energy

Being spiritually lazy

is the easiest way

to regret in your journey of life.

The Buddha listed eight possible grounds for 

[a] laziness, followed by corresponding ones for the 

[b] arousal of energy. 

Although they were spoken for monastics, they equally apply to laity, who might find similar excuses to procrastinate regular spiritual practices such as learning, chanting, meditation and doing of charitable deeds. ‘Work’ below can refer to all kinds of minor and major tasks, such as your day jobs, errands or even housework, while ‘journey’ can refer to your almost daily commute to and from work. On ‘food’, even if not consuming alms mentioned, you might ‘undereat’ or overeat too. 

Here they are: 

[1] One thinks 

[a] ‘As my body will be tired after work,

why don’t I lie down now?’

One thus doesn’t make effort for practice.

Another thinks instead,

[b] ‘As when working, it will not be easy to practise the Dharma,

why don’t I make effort to practise now?’

One thus makes effort for practice.

[2] One thinks, 

[a] ‘As I have worked, and my body is tired,

why don’t I lie down now?’

One thus doesn’t make effort for practice.

Another thinks instead,

[b] ‘As when working, I couldn’t practise the Dharma,

why don’t I make effort to practise now?’

One thus makes effort for practice.

[3] One thinks,

[a] ‘As I have to journey, and my body will be tired later,

why don’t I lie down now?’

One thus doesn’t make effort for practice.

Another thinks instead,

[b] ‘As I have to journey, it will not be easy to practise the Dharma,

why don’t I make effort to practise now?’

One thus makes effort to do so.

[4] One thinks,

[a] ‘As I have journeyed, and my body is tired,

why don’t I lie down now?’

One thus doesn’t make effort for practice.

Another thinks instead,

[b] ‘As I have journeyed, I couldn’t attend to practise the Dharma,

why don’t I make effort to practise now?’

One thus makes effort to do so.

[5] One thinks, [a] ‘As I did not get enough food, my body is tired and unfit for work,

why don’t I lie down now?’

One thus doesn’t make effort for practice.

Another thinks instead,

[b] ‘As I did not get enough food, my body is light and fit for work,

why don’t I make effort to practise now?’

One thus makes effort to do so.

[6] One who has enough food thinks,

[a] ‘As my body is heavy and unfit for work, as if heavily pregnant,

why don’t I lie down now?’

One thus doesn’t make effort for practice.

Another thinks instead,

[b] ‘As I had enough [and not too much] food, my body is light and fit for work,

why don’t I make effort to practise now?’

One thus makes effort to do so.

[7] One thinks,

[a] ‘As my body is slightly sick,

I need to lie down now.’

One thus doesn’t make effort for practice.

Another thinks instead,

[b] ‘As I am slightly sick, and it could worsen,

why don’t I make effort to practise now?’

One thus makes effort to do so.

[8] One thinks, 

[a] ‘As I have just recovered from sickness,

my body is weak and unfit for work,

why don’t I lie down now?’

One thus doesn’t make effort for practice.

Another thinks instead,

[b] ‘As I have just recovered from sickness, and it could recur,

why don’t I make effort to practise now?’

One thus makes effort to do so.

Thus the Buddha did advise on the immediate need to practise the Dharma, so as to attain the unattained. From the eight scenarios above, you can probably see reflections of your usual ‘physical’ excuses to delay spiritual practice – due to after 

[1] anticipation of exhaustion after work, 

[2] having worked, 

[3] anticipation of travel, 

[4] having travelled, 

[5] not eating enough, 

[6] having eaten too much,

[7] being a little unwell, and

[8] having just recovered. 

It is worthy nothing that these are four pairs of excuses, which illustrate your high tendency to rationalise not practising despite whatever contrasting conditions present! With impending ageing, sickness and death, you should be all the more diligent from now on!

(collected)

Which woman baked the more delicious cake?

Two women were each baking a cake.

The first woman had miserable ingredients. The old white flour had to have the green mouldy bits removed first. The cholesterol enriched butter was almost going rancid. She had to pick the brown lumps out of the white sugar (because someone had put in a spoon wet with coffee) and the only fruit she had were ancient raisins, as hard as depleted uranium. And her kitchen was of the style called "Pre World War" which World War was a matter of debate.

The second woman had the very best ingredients. The organically grown whole wheat flour was guaranteed GM free. She had trans fat free canola oil spread, raw sugar, and succulent fruit grown in her own garden. And her kitchen was "state of the art" with every modern gadget.

Which woman baked the more delicious cake?

It is often not the person with the best ingredients who bakes the better cake - there is more to baking a cake than just the ingredients. Sometimes the person with miserable ingredients puts so much effort, care, and love into their baking that their cake comes out the most delicious of all. It is what we do with the ingredients that counts.

I have some friends who have had miserable ingredients to work with in this life; they were born into poverty, possible abused as children, not clever at school, maybe disabled and unable to play sports. But the few qualities they did have they put together so well that they baked a mightily impressive cake. I admire them greatly. Do you recognize such people?

I have other friends who have had wonderful ingredients to work with in this life. Their families were wealthy and loving, they were successful at school, talented athletes, good looking and popular and yet they wasted their youth lives with drugs and alcohol.

Do you recognized such a one ?

Half of karma is the ingredients we have got to work with. The other half, the most crucial part, is what we make of them in this life.

Ajahn Brahm